Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Will Canadians still buy American products?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Is Daenerys Targaryen really the most beautiful woman, or is everyone saying that just to flatter her?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I actually pay taxes

I understand how hurricane paths work

With so much evidence supporting the flat Earth theory, why aren't more resources dedicated to studying it?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What is your juiciest sex story?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why do men prefer women below the age of 30?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for traitorism

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Why does an older married man turn bisexual?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

How do I develop the patience to read books?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I can read

I have complete contempt for fakery

How far does good behavior take you in a prison?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

What is the irony of life according to you?

I don’t buy bullshit

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Do married men like sucking dick?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I see through liars

If the world was flat, would it be possible to see Mount Everest if it was on the other side of the Earth on a clear sunny day?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have BPD. Why do I destroy everyone I love?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Why do men want to suck dick?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have a reading level above third grade

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I can count